Trains

Imagine if you will, that you are standing at a train platform. You are waiting for a train to arrive and one pulls in from the left with the word “Anxiety” in big letters on the side. A few minutes later, another train pulls in from the right with the word “Depression” in big letters on its side. Both trains look familiar and as you study them both, you realize you have taken many trips on both of them.

The Anxiety train you remember takes you into the future and each stop along the way is more awful than the one before it. In fact, you cannot remember one trip in which the places you have stopped along the way, have been pleasant. You know that if you get on the Anxiety train it will start slow, but it will eventually go faster and faster until you cannot seem to get off.

The Depression train goes into the past and it too does not seem to have any happy stops. Each stop is more depressing than the last. Each stop reminds you of what you should have done and didn’t, or shouldn’t have done, but you did it anyway.  And like the Anxiety train, it too goes faster and faster until you feel that you cannot jump off.

The conductors for the trains are calling for you to hurry and get on board, or you will miss your ride. It feels urgent to hurry and get on board, but what if you could just stay on the platform for a few minutes and let the trains pull out? If you missed the train what would happen? Isn’t there always another one scheduled after these two leave? In fact, you might notice, that these trains are scheduled all day long, every day.

Sometimes a short pause can mean the difference between riding these trains, or not. If you could just figure out a way to pause until the trains pulled out without you, the results could be different. What if you practiced pausing enough that it became a habit like walking, talking, driving, or eating? Could something this simple make a big change in your life?

What do you have to lose? You can always catch the next train. When you notice your brain is having an anxious or depressing thought, just notice the thought, thank your brain, and take 15 – 20 breaths paying attention to what it feels like to breathe. Can you notice the muscles contracting and expanding? The air going in through your mouth and out through your nose? Are your lungs filling and releasing the air? Imagine these are your very first breaths, what would they feel like?

Or pause and ask yourself a few simple questions before boarding. What do I want, Peace or Pain? And if I wanted Peace, what would I see myself doing? Getting on the trains? Have I been on these trains before? Do I need to ride them again to see if the destinations have changed? Is this what I want on my gravestone? I rode the anxiety/depression trains over and over, then I died?

They say that everyone wants change in their life as long as they do not have to change. Are you willing to practice something new and see if the outcome could be different?e